My boys birthday week!!!!

Ahh!! My little man will be 7 on Sunday! I cannot believe it, 6 was okay for me but 7, gosh can he stop growing up!

Jerimiah Steven was born at 2:13 am on August 14th. He was 10 lbs 11.8 ounces and 21.5 inches long! He was so huge that the nurses had to go and search for some size 1 diapers because the newborn diapers were not going to fit him. I remember when I first saw him, I started crying my eyes out. He was perfect and so handsome! I had this overwhelming love for him immediately. Instantly I had a need to protect him and guide him the best way I could.

Because of military obligations is was just Jerimiah and I for the first 6 or 7 months. He and I bonded that much more seeing it was just the two of us everyday. He became my shadow and I absolutely loved it. I remember video tapping him rolling over so that his daddy could see it. I remember my dog Chance teaching him how to walk. She would let him pull up on her and while he was hanging on she would take two steps and wait while he moved his feet to catch up, she would do this for about 3 minutes at a time, it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen. I tell him all the time that his best friend Chance really did teach him to walk.

Jerimiah has developed into such a compassionate young boy. Although Hannah drives him crazy, you will often see him getting her water, or making sure her dinner plate is close enough to her. When I am not feeling well he will ask me if I need anything and then remind Hannah that she needs to be quite.

Jerimiahs favorite thing in this world is sharks. He has been obsessed with the for about year. Some of this may be related to his sensory or autism but I could care less! He knows everything there is to know about sharks, all the different kinds, what they eat, where they can be found. The only tv this guy watches is documentaries on sharks. We completely encourage his obsession, any time I am the book store I ask if they have any new shark books in (they know me by now as the shark lady lol.) We even took one of his toy sharks down to a gourmet bakery and she is going to sculpt a cake for him (We wont talk about the price of it, its worth it)

I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, I would never run out of positive things to say about him. He will forever be my baby boy, I love him more than anything in this world. I am so proud to be his mommy!!

So Happy Birthday Week to my little man!!! I cannot wait to celebrate with the family and friends that will be here this weekend, especially those from Seattle, it means so much to him (and me) to have you here!

See you soon!!

Soul searching and then some.

Gosh it has been so long since I have blogged. The main reason is because I have not been wanting to share some of my feelings lately. But now I feel like I need and want to write it all down.

Jerimiahs appointment at the neurologist was not what we had anticipated. We had to drive to Seattle to go to Children's Hospital because our great TC has no specialist, guess that's one of the draw back of living in a smaller town. We were in with the doctor for over an hour, he asked so many question I was a little overwhelmed by them. After about an hour he looked at Ben and I and said, "I am just not sure what is going on here." Great lol, just what we wanted to hear. He went into a few other things, things I am not ready to talk about right now. I am still processing. We now go to see the autism center, a speech therapist and a therapist.

I first became angry and emotional, that lasted for about a 10 minutes then I realized that I had the choice how I was going to feel about it. I decided with the support of my husband that I am just going to deal with it in a positive way. Its my choice and regardless of whatever Jerimiah has we are so incredibly blessed. We have a healthy family, our children are thriving and really, that is what matters.

I have also gained some wonderful friendships, one person is the sister of a boy I went to high school with. I really didn't know her until my friend Carly introduced us on Facebook. She has become such a wonderful outlet for me, she lets me ask the questions that I am almost too embarrassed to ask other people. Having people like this makes all the difference. I hear from people that Jerimiah is fine and he will "grow out" of his "issues". You cannot begin to understand how irritating and insulting this is to hear.Just so you know if you have a friend that is going through the autism process or anything else for that matter with their children a simple "I am here for you if you need me" is all we need. :)

I also was a little bummed because our Pastor at our new church called me and asked me if I would like to be Baptized this last Sunday, I had to decline because we had to be in Seattle. I have not been Baptized before because I felt that I was not ready to make the decision. I still had my doubts and wasn't sure if it was the right thing for me. Incredibly since all of this has been going on, my relationship with God has become so strong and I know that I am ready to make the commitment. So I will have to wait a few weeks but I will soon be Baptized, I am really excited for that!

Okay now I get to brag about my husband! My husband has been in the service for going on 10 years now, he is currently in the Reserves and our plan is to have him finish out his 20 years. Most recently he had to be on PSNS Naval Station. He asked to complete three HUGE weld tests, they initially told him no because it takes people 200 hours to do but he convinced him that he could do it. In 16 hours my husband completed all three weld tests. They passed the visual examination but then had to be sent off for X-ray. We found out last night that ALL of his tests passed, not only did they pass but they are sending them to some expert to see how my husband did the amazing job that he did. It is almost unheard of for someone to pass all three tests but even more so in 16 hours! I am so proud of him I cannot begin to express it!


Well that is it for now, sorry for my super long post today! I hope everyone is doing wonderful and has a great holiday weekend.

Summer is so Busy

Is it just me or does summer bring about so many things to do?! This summer we have, Jerimiahs 7th bday, my bday, mine and Ben 9 year wedding anniversay (all three of these are within 2 weeks of eachother!) We have two vacations that we are planning, one to the ocean and another to Idaho to go to Silverwood. Then we have military duty, I start at WSU, we are hoping to start look for a house in September.

It will be a very busy summer for us, but really I am looking forward to it. I hate being idle, I like to go, go, go!

Also I wanted to share that we finally got an appointment date for Jerimiah to see the neuroloigst! We do have to drive over to Seattle Children Hospital but we are so grateful that we didnt have to wait the 12 months that we were looking at before my wonderful ped pulled some strings. If you are not sure what I am talking about you can read about it here
Well hope everyone is having a great weekend!! Much Love!

Taking it all in...as best as I can

So yesterday was the big doctors appointment that I had been waiting for. You can read about that here Jerimiah has had the same pediatrician since we moved over here two years ago. I could not ask for a better doctor. She is very thorough and very conservative. She will not give your child medication unless she feels that it is absolutely necessary. This is something that I respect and appreciate.
She spent about 2 and a half hours with us yesterday going over all of Jerimiahs symptoms. I heard the words bipolar and learning disability thrown around while we were talking. She must have noticed me beginning to shut down because she said "Let just rule those out now." Instead she went over everything that Jerimiah is excelling in, (math, science) and things he was having trouble in (spelling, reading). She noticed things while he was sitting in front of her that I had always ignored because I thought they were just normal child behaviors.

After about a hour and half she told me she believes that Jerimiah has High Functioning Autism. I will admit that when I heard the autism word I started to shut down again but I quickly realized that this was my chance to help my sweet little boy. She told me that all of these senosory issues and the sudden withdrawl he does often are classic signs of it. She said he may have the ensory processig disorder as well but she believes that they may just be signs of the autism.

We spent the next hour talking about how Jerimiah fits about 90 percent of the classic red flags of high functioning autism. She explained that these children that have this are so incredibly bright that they have trouble conveying it to others. Now looking and interacting with Jerimiah you would never know that he has this unless you knew him deep down. We decided together that we will not tell Jerimiah that he has this, because I do not want him to be labeled the autistic one and also I will not allow him to use it as a crutch. I know that he and us will have to work a little harder than most parents and child at school and his social skills but I and his doctor are confident that he will reach his highest potential.

I had no idea that most of these high function autistic kids go on to be physicist or Doctors or University Professors. She told me that as long as we learn the rules of autism and learn how to deal with different situations he will do fine.
So the next step is that we go see a child behavioral specialist and the neurologist. He will be evaluated to determine exactly what type of autism it is and then we will be referred to someone that can help us get a game plan.

I will say that those who I spoke to yesterday know that I was really emotional. I guess I was sad but I think even more I was so grateful to have an answer so that I can help my little guy. I am ready to do this. I am ready to learn everything I can about this, and I am even more ready to be my sons strongest supporter and advocate.
Thank you to everyone that has been supportive and so loving. You have no idea how much your kind words me to me. Even those that I have not met, you gals have just been so wonderful and I appreciate it so much.

I am left asking, "Why my son?"

You will have to excuse my scattered thoughts...

I have a doctors appointment for my son Jerimiah on the 4th to confirm mine and his doctors suspission that he has Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD. I am so nervous and stressed about it that at times I feel ill.

You see since Jerimiah was an infant, I have noticed things that I have found to be not normal. Foods that make him actually throw up, the light so bright he would scream and cry when he was only 6 months old. Loud noises would upset him so much that I would pray that when we went somewhere nothing loud would happen. Picking him up sometimes he would fuss like he was in pain, and an overall constant emotional distress.

Now that Jerimiah is 6, we have noticed that these problems have turned into much more severe issues for him. His teacher requested sunglasses because he refuses to go outside when it is even a tid bit sunny. He says his eyes are burning. He gets excited to eat some of his favorite foods and then throws up when he tries to eat them because of the texture. He often cries after school when it has been a louder than normal day. He gets angry VERY easy and his feelings gets hurt even easier. He is always emotional, get hurts really easy and just plain seems so depressed all the time.
He and I talk about it a lot, his feelings, why he feel that way and what we can do to work together to make things more manageable. He has throw up at the dinner table twice this week and we are only on day two. When Hannah accidentaly steped on his hand, he was in so much pain I thought he had broke his hand.I have now realized that this is beyond me.

My heart is broken, I feel like I have failed my son. To see him struggle daily has become too much. To see him hurting physically and emotionally has taken its toll on him and our family. I have to get help.
I have spoken with his pediatrician and she is sure that Jerimiah has this very strange but very real disorder.

So what is SPD?
Sensory processing (sometimes called "sensory integration" or SI) is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Whether you are biting into a hamburger, riding a bicycle, or reading a book, your successful completion of the activity requires processing sensation or "sensory integration."

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, school failure, and other impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively.

Sensory Processing Disorder can affect people in only one sense–for example, just touch or just sight or just movement–or in multiple senses. One person with SPD may over-respond to sensation and find clothing, physical contact, light, sound, food, or other sensory input to be unbearable. Another might under-respond and show little or no reaction to stimulation, even pain or extreme hot and cold .These kids often are misdiagnosed - and inappropriately medicated - for ADHD.
From the SPD Foundation website http://www.spdfoundation.net/

Scary right? Well it is too me anyway. It is never easy to know that your child is struggling with a disorder that can be so crippling to them. Absolutely tear your heart out devastating. This may not see m like that big of a deal compared to cancer, or many other illnesses but even so to watch your child go through this is....there are no words.
I hopeful and confident that his doctor can help us. Most effective treatments are OT (Occupational Theraphy) and that is what we will be trying with Jerimiah once the "official" diagnosis is made. I am praying that this helps him. I have to get him help. I just have to. I want him to feel like every other kid. I want him to be able to go to his friends house and not dread the food they cook or the noise level.I want him to be able to rough house like every other little boy and not be in agonizing pain. Really I just want what every other mother wants for thier child, I want him to happy.

If you have read all of this I am impressed. Truth be told I wrote this more for me as a way to let out some of my emotions that I have struggling with. I have been keeping this in because I don't know how to deal with it yet either. And to many of my friends whom I have been short with lately I truly apologize. I have been keeping this all so bottled up that I haven't had much emotions to spare for anything else and I am sorry. I'll update after his appointment.