A case of the blues...you can go away now.

Gosh lately I have just had a case of the blues. This weekend didn't help anything. I hate Mothers Day. This may sounds strange because I am a mother of two beautiful loving children. But every time Mothers Day rolls around I get to see my Facebook blow up with everyone's post about how much they love their mom. Its thrown in my face when I go to the grocery store and see the flowers and cards, this week I couldn't even escape it at the gym. It was bring your Mothers weekend!

Let me make sure I am clear on this. There is nothing more wonderful then seeing my friends appreciate and love their moms. I am so glad that the have their mothers. I would not wish the way I feel on my worst enemies.

I swear its like pouring salt into a wound that is so deep it seems there is no end to it. I have no contact with my biological mother. She left when I was 5 never looked back, I reconnected with her when I was 16 and then was abandoned again. She did some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine to me and my two sisters. So when Mothers Day rolls around its a reminder of all the hurt that I felt and continue to feel every day of my life.

Sadly I d not even have a mother-in-law, she passed away when my husband was 10 and my father-in-law is single. I always figured that I would marry someone and be able to claim their mother as my own. Guess that was just not in the cards for me.

I do have a step mom but she was at a Mothers Day brunch at my stepsister and I was not invited. (I wont even get into that). So yesterday was just a bad day. My husband and babies tried to make it the best they could but no matter what the hurt was still there. When I found out that all the moms were invited to my step sisters but me, I became really upset. I am not sure why that unfolded the way it did but I hope that I never make anyway feel the way I felt yesterday.

Anyway I sincerely hope that everyone had a better day than I id. I always hate when Mothers Day rolls around. I wonder when I will be able to feel normal and not like I need to hide on that day. The one thing that I can promise is that my children will always have me, and I will always know how lucky I am that God gave me these two wonderful little people.

I made a promise to myself that from now on, on Mothers Day my little family and I will head out somewhere for the weekend. We will celebrate our family, not just me. We will celebrate my husbands mom Shelley that has passed and will just spend some quality time together.

This will be my last year of hiding during mothers day, next year I will be writing about how great my Family weekend was!